Release

Right now I feel numb. Its probably the drugs. Taking the edge of. I don’t feel anything. Then part of me just thinks I’m simply plain numb. I worked through the pain, felt it and released it.

And it hurt like fuck. It came from my very soul, an ache so deep that I knew it was more than just this. It was something else, something I thought I’d dealt with. This was its perfect chance to free itself and I didn’t even know it was trapped.

So many tears. And then you called me a waterfall and you didn’t even know. You said it was because I was strong, because my head was clear. You knew so much, yet hardly knew anything at all.

The water fell, torrential at times it flowed. At times the cries felt as though someone else was actually ripping them out from my core through my eyes and my throat. Pulling, forcing, trailing. But there was no need. I was open to whatever it was going to be, however sore because I know, I know that it always has to be felt. Now or later, it always gets out. It just hurts a hell of a lot more later.

And then it was out. Exhausted, all I could think of was sleep. Rest. My head was quiet, my soul still. If it would be that way when I woke I couldn’t say, had no way of knowing.

A resigned smile formed on my lips, it had been good, really really good.

Your decision but I know it was for the best. For you. And for me. Together we just got lost in each other. You filled my mind and I know I did yours. We filled a space in each other we were supposed to be learning to fill ourselves.

Two people can only complete each other when they are both whole. You know that, I know it too.